No one deserves to suffer like that but some of do and we just can't really seem to shake the effects of it no matter how old we are.
As children, we probably never thought about how the thing we did, heard, or said would ever carry over into the future. We were just kids who wanted to be happy. But not everyone got to achieve that dream. There were some people who suffered through emotional abuse as a child, not realizing how badly the effects of it would leak into their adult personalities. They didn't know that kind of abuse would affect their self-worth and their relationships. But it did. And if you are someone who experienced emotional abuse, you probably had one of these 17 thoughts or its variations that you could never seem to escape:
1. "I can’t stand conflict, loud or sudden noises, shouting and screaming, or aggression in any form." As a child, you learned that fighting for yourself only resulted in more pain. So you just shut down every time there is a conflict.
2. “I always feel like I am doing everything wrong… It’s very hard to convince me I am good at something.” You were never complimented or rewarded for good behavior. All people defined you by was your mistakes.
3. “I’m an overachiever. At everything and anything." You constantly feel the need to prove that you're good enough because you were made to believe that only perfection would earn you love and affection.
4. “I become apologetic over everything." Everything was made out to be your fault and now, you constantly feel the need to apologize because that's all you know how to, even if the mistake isn't yours.
5. “I avoid saying anything that others might not agree with, which means I’m never being myself." Much like fighting for yourself, saying anything that disagreed with someone's opinion only made your situation worse. So you stopped sharing your thoughts just so you could protect yourself from more pain.
6. “I have problems trusting people. I keep people at arm’s length. I never really let them into my life." When you've been hurt so much constantly, it's not easy to trust someone to do anything different.
7. "Every choice I make is wrong even if I choose the option I’m told to take." When you've always been told you're wrong, you start believing it. And as an adult, it's become a habit to second-guess yourself all the time.
8. “I have trouble accepting any kind of love." Given that love always came with strings attached or was used as a tool for manipulation, it scares you. It terrifies you to give away something of yourself only for it to be used against you again.
9. “I’m very defensive and negative." You just want to protect yourself from getting hurt so you do what you can to keep people away.
10. "I constantly fear everyone around me." As a child, your trust was repeatedly being broken by the people closest to you. It's why now, as an adult, you just fear being around people as you don't know how they're going to harm you.
11. “I have attachment issues, trust issues, and am paranoid that everyone will leave me." Love was always conditional for you and you were scared people you loved would leave you if you didn't do what they want. It's reflex to think this way now even as a grow-up.
12. “I constantly think I’m not good enough and I’m not smart enough." Every time you tried to do something, you were told that your efforts were wasted and that you weren't smart to pull it off. Even if others can see that you're amazing at something, you just don't know how to believe them.
13. "I am nothing to myself so why would I matter to others?" Your worth as a person was scrubbed away with insults and demeaning comments as a child. Now you wonder how anyone would want someone so worthless.
14. “I don’t really know who I am or what I truly think." At some point, you had to fabricate a life for yourself because if you were even one hair out of place, it would only lead to more abuse. So as you grew up and started experiencing the world, what you built as a child versus the kind of person you are, just confuses you.
15. "I get angry and defensive really quickly." You had nowhere to vent your own emotions and like a volcano, all those pent-up feelings just built up until it just keeps erupting over the smallest of issues. But they're not so small to you.
16. “I avoid asking for help from anyone because I don’t trust anyone." It all comes back to trust.
17. "I cannot communicate well and I don’t know how to express my feelings." You couldn't do it as a child because it meant being punished. You don't know how to do it as an adult because you haven't had any other experience.
But while these thoughts might send you into a loop of pain in your own head, you're not alone. If you can't trust people, trust in the fact that there are too many people whose belief in themselves is virtually non-existent because the people they trusted to love them, failed to do so. You don't deserve to live like this. You deserve to be showered in compliments, to be rewarded for your hard work and effort, to be confident in your abilities. But most of all, you deserve to be loved. And while talking to someone about it may seem like a Herculean task, doing it means finally doing something for yourself. You owe to yourself to be happy and away from the toxicity that ruled your childhood.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.Disclaimer : The views expressed in this article belong to the writer and are not necessarily shared by our website.